I write !

Well , I was reading an article in Bangalore Mirror the other day where some person said that everyone should write at least 500 words in a week to keep himself/herself active and vent out his/her frustration/joy ,express feelings and stuff like that.

I’m writing this article because of the Colum in the newspaper and secondly because I’m terribly bored. I like reading Bangalore Mirror because it’s easy to read , light and fluffy , basically they give yummy crap and it’s addictive. As far as Bangalore is concerned , it’s growing beyond my imagination. Every time I travel , I discover new areas. Initially I used to think that Sunkadkatte is the only place I’ve never visited in Bangalore and after my recent bus journey towards indiranagar , I’ve discovered a plethora of areas. There’s Malleshpalya , Murgeshpalya , Michealpalya and the list never seems to end. Greater Bangalore is all set to spring up surprises , go the BBMP office and tell your maid servant’s name , they add a ‘Palya’ suffix and another area is born. The names of the new areas are really tacky and lack creativity . Another thing that’s as tacky as the names of new areas is the pulse polio campaign. The new pulse polio campaign is a remixed version of the title track of Kannada movie ‘Jackie’ where they sing ‘Polio Polio Polio’ instead of ‘Jackie Jackie’ and have suitably changed the lyrics . They hope to attract a lot of people in the pulse polio drive. Sorry to say this , but by any stretch of imagination the song hasn’t been able to provide that adrenaline rush in my body and even if I were eligible for that I wouldn’t go. Check out the latest ad of Dhan laxmi bank , it’s an amazing ad and the jingle is just perfect. Even if I went to that pulse polio drive I would want to be the first in the line of all those cry babies and want a celebrity to put those drops in to my mouth and it would make the headlines in the newspaper the next day. I don’t want to lead a simple , mediocre life. I want to do something that I like not what others do . I’ve thought of 3 things a) A script/screenplay writer b) Political editor c) Restaurateur . The last option is the one I like most . Like a pizza hut that specializes in pizzas or a Rolls corner that makes only Rolls , I’d like to start a restaurant in some hill station that serves everything with curd in it . Dahi Samosa , Dahi Cutlet , Aloo Paratha with dahi etc. The less adventurous and the not so experimental types can always order stuff plain and bland.

Moving ahead, I was browsing through some random website that conducted competitions during the valentine’s day time . The competition went on for nearly a week and people were asked to write love letters , letters of friendship and some breakup latter . The breakup letter was the most interesting thing because it expected you to write it in a loving , tactful and a smart manner without hurting the other person’s feeling. People wrote about their first meeting, first eye contact and a hell lot of horse manure and made it super senti citing reasons as family pressure and long distances that would make it hard to continue the relationship. Though I didn't take part as it wasn't something that I found interesting , I now take it up as a challenge to write that letter . Here it goes

Dear loved one
This letter marks the end of an era of an era of mutual admiration . An era where we gifted each other pieces of metal glued together or some chemical junk that fabricated beauty , had meaningless conversations over the phone and exchanged a hell lot of useless text messages providing a gala time for mobile phone operators , the florists , the novelty store guy. There’s absolutely no reason to worry because many more young couples will continue to make the same mistake as we’ve done, commerce will continue to flourish and the economy will continue to grow by leaps and bounds. Your electronic voice , manicured nails and the dimple on your left cheek had left me in a trance but as a responsible citizen of the nation , it’s time for the two of us to look beyond our personal interests and take keen interests in the scams that have rocked the nation in the recent past. Finally, I’ve managed to come out of my slumber , my sense organs have begun to work and I can feel the chill of the morning air , it brings with it a sense of hope . I also like the mornings because coffee is my favorite drink. I know it may be a little hard to cope with the breakup in the beginning but there are a hell lot of activities that we can indulge ourselves in – like checking if the numbers on the car number plate are divisible by 3 or not , or watching the water fill the compartments of the ice trays and many other intellectual activities. Also reality TV and the new comedy shows on cable television will help us remain glued to our sofas . The paparazzi isn’t going to come behind us because we were just 2 silly people . Okay then , take care
Bye forever

Uff , it’s take me nearly an hour and 15 minutes at a stretch and I’ve written 900 + words!!

Mantri mall - the next big thing

With the recent political unrest in Egypt and the Tsunami in Japan , Mantri mall in particular and Malleshwaran in general will soon become the world’s most visited location reported Bangalore Mirror

‘Absolutely ridiculous’ shouted image processing professional Abhilash B R at his laterally inverted image on the other side of the mirror . ‘South Bangalore represents the urban elite , the IT revolution ,it’s got great restaurants , hang out places , theatre and drama , the pub culture , basically everything to keep people of all age groups entertained. There are so many people that it’s almost impossible to find a parking place for your cars on the weekends .We too have the Grauda Swagath mall in Jaynagar ‘pointed Abhilash , showing once again why he was Padmanabhnagar’s (Area close to Jaynagar) favorite son .’Bangalore Mirror’s articles are fake and manipulated, just like Rahul Gandhi’s speeches’ he added
‘This the 4th time that Abhilash has attacked Rahul Gandhi on Ananth’s blog’ said an usually observant Arnab Goswmi , hitting the nail on the wall yet again

Mallesh (the first four letters in his name suggest that he is a mall fiend) said that ‘Nowadays , every 50*80 corner site facing a main road is turned in to a mall . Throw in a Mc Donald’s and another shop selling T shirts and some electronic gadgets and you get a mall . By the way , if you wish to call GARUDA Swagat a mall , then one day you will call Lord Krishna Bank as the next Reserve Bank Of India’ adding the much needed comic relief to this rather serious issue

Mr.Srinivas , a resident of 10th cross Malleshwaram said ‘Ah Mantri mall is the best thing that could have happened to this area . After a cup of coffee and some yoga , I like to indulge myself in some retail therapy ‘ picking up half a kilo of tomatoes from the Spar Hypermarket . When asked about his opinion about the other malls in Bangalore Mr Srinivas opined ‘ That Sigma mall is a glorified double-decker coffin. As far as Forum goes , it should soon be giving Win Declare to Mantri’ he winked
Philosopher , thinker and dreamer Ananth (that’s what he likes to call himself) said ‘ Surely the ‘mall culture’ has captured the imagination of one and all. People have become more stylish , you can see everyone wearing their designer wear ,branded jeans , Gucci loafers , sexy stilettos and stuff like that but I still like to go to those little shops hiding in the alleys , those Kirana shops where you can buy knickknacks .

‘ Whatever be the influence of the malls , I still feel people should go and explore the tiny markets , there’s some sort of an Old world charm associated with these places’ added Ananth trying to sound different , independent minded and hoping to attract a lot of female attention

What's there in a name??

With elections round the corner in Orissa problems are mounting for BJD (Biju Janata Dal) spokesperson ‘Jay Panda’. The people who are campaigning for him decided to cheer for him by shouting ‘Jai Jay Panda’. Jay Panda reacted ‘The 2 Jai’s in the beginning are very confusing. It is similar to ‘Sri Sri Ravishankar ‘who has two Sri’s in his name. I’m not a god man or anything; I want to reach out to the common people. Please change the style of cheering’






JAY PANDA ,BEFORE AND AFTER



One of his party members suggested that ‘Jay’ should be removed and they should only have a ‘Jai’ , now it sounds like ‘Jai Panda’. ‘What an idea Sirji’ said another member showing the goose bumps on his hand that he developed due to the sudden excitement. ‘Jay Panda ‘replied that if they chose to cheer him as ‘Jai Panda’ they would sound like animal right activists or the members of PETA who are running a campaign to save Pandas .He added ‘Names like ‘Swan’, ‘pigeon’ etc have been used by that scamster Shahid Balwa . We’ll stay far away from such names’.

How about names like ‘Panda kid’?? asked a prankster. ‘There’s already pop singer Jay Kid, so he would accuse us of plagiarism if we used the same name for your campaigns. So we’ll use your second name and add a ‘kid’ after that. A frustrated Jay Panda replied ‘In that case you can also call me Kungfu Panda’

A sane man asked ‘Why shouldn’t we canvass as ‘ Jay Panda Jai ?’ . People can easily distinguish between Jai and Jay then. Mr Panda said ‘The idea is great , but this sounds more like a palindrome . Reads it either way it sounds the same .The idea has been already used by ICICI, Aviva, Civic, Mahindra and Mahindra .We should be more innovative. Whack your brains guys’

‘Even if I’m on the losing side , my name is at least less complicated and so much more macho’ said Zimbabwe’s wicket keeper Tatenda Tiabu or T square as he his popularly known

Finally, after much thought Jay Panda pointed ‘Maybe I should add a suffix to my name like Jayant , Jaydev, Jayram or something like that. See, this makes more sense’. Another party member suggested ‘Even prefixes work well sir, you can use Sujay , Vijay , Ajay ‘.Clearly problems galore for this BJD spokesperson.