COMMUNISTS OR DEMOCRATS

Stalin’s Russia I know not
Moscow today, billionaire’s haven
the hammer and sickle
have been thrown aside
Burnt cigar butts, opium fields
Families torn apart
Getting mugged in broad daylight
The rickety bus, the noisy alley
Cardboard box like houses
Working day and night for a few hundred pesos
The woman next door
Moaning in pleasure for hers
Waiting in long queues at the ration store
Few eggs , some rice
A bar of soap , some knick knacks
Expect them to last even 10 days?
Come let’s go back to the land
I always longed to go

The powerful , the merciless
The stone hearted
The economy that came tumbling down
Detroit that’s become a deserted town
Locked houses , so many cars – no takers
A hierarchical pyramid they created
Standing on its periphery
To the world outside
Presented a rosy picture
But buried in it , their own people
Motels overflowing with people
Tents that have emerged on the road
From skyscrapers, pink slips thrown
Even after this they suspect me
Because my name is Rashid
My country may be an old theater
Still I see people dancing in the aisle
Theirs like a swanky multiplex
Where people walk in and out like robots

Let's sub it out

The 1^st two days of stepping in to the workplace were pretty boring. Some random guys just walked in and were talking about us evolving from ‘Hello World’ programmers to writing codes to launch rockets and stuff like that. The tech park looks damn depressing . The architect probably got bored after designing one building and he just cut copy pasted the same blue print for the rest of them . Tall 10 floored , tainted glass, peach colored structures stand in front of you all set to make your life gloomy with their dullness . Then let’s talk about food .The thali consists of various things just dumped together , tastes bland and the curd is limited , so that makes it worse.

Then suddenly ‘knock knock who’s there?’

‘Subway’

‘Subway who?’

‘Come in and I’m all set to surprise you’

I’ve spent most of my life ordering standard stuff like honey cake and veg puff in a bakery or Roti , paneer butter masala and fried rice in a restaurant ,.There’s beauty in monotony , take for instance Kalki Koechlin, who plays the role of a confused NRI girl with insane parents in both the movies she has acted (Dev D and Shaitaan) , leads this rather complicated life and ends up in disastrous situations , don’t we all love her for that?? Entering Subway makes you feel like you have entered unknown territory. I’ve avoided this place for so long because of the ads that say that place serves food with having less than 5 gms of fat. If your food has to be tasty , then it’s got to be fatty , oily and drippy.

Once you are here , you are spoilt with choices . You have little time to make this transition from a novice to a pro. The journey is pretty simple .You have to choose from a variety of breads , salads and sauces . All you’ve got to do is to ask your tongue as to what it feels like tasting at that point in time . There’s an online tutorial to help you out so that you don’t find yourself out of place over there. Believe me , this stuff is damn good . It’s filling , tasty ,feels heavenly and pretty healthy too. It’s the perfect kind of thing that you would want to have on a lazy , laid back evening . So , let’s sub it out!!

The Painter

He was a recluse on the run ,
a hippy on the highway
or just a painter who travelled incognito .
He was the McKinsey man in SEZ Gurgaon ,
watching the bar graphs reach out high
He would take notice of the numbers embedded in between ,
solve complex arithmetic .
Math gave life to these otherwise boring straight lines .
He was the Ranbaxy representative watching the pills fall from the closet ,
like he could have painkillers for lunch
Or the automobile spare part dealer in Faridabad
Painting out shades of grey and steel
Giving his work a raw and rustic feel
Sometimes the ruffian in Bengal,
Who had just woken up from the bloody street fights
Or just drowning himself in the cultural milieu
Watching the air take a snap of autumn on it
He would become breathless on Friday
Suffer from an invisible illness on Saturday
Run a marathon on Sunday
Run till a barbed wire fence separated civilization and madness
And then wait for the climax
And like every other story , his too would have a long climax
a long winding and an unending one
He would just sit there
Waiting for colors to fall from nowhere
And fill the void
Just like it would happen to those beautiful actresses
In those soft drink ads

Confessions of a so called engineer

It was nearly 4 years back when I had finished my 2^nd PUC and I didn’t know what to do next . I’ve remained pretty aimless in life .Science was never a topic of great intrigue for me . A maternal aunt told me that Telecommunication would be a great choice because of the mobile telephony revolution , internet and some other things like 3G , 4 G which makes the news for all the wrong reasons. Since I was getting it in a pretty decent college, I decided to take this up.

Until 2 years back , I always thought that the power lines that carry electricity also carry these telephone signals . I would always wonder as to why the telephone doesn’t go dead when there’s a power cut . I once asked my cousin and she ‘Go ask the BESCOM guys’ . She was as lame as me . For people who are reading this and have no idea about telecommunication , the branch is the same as electronics and communication

I’ll give you my understanding of electronics and it may/may not be right the second case being more likely. Electronics is a pretty hopeless subject to study . It all stars of with 3 things called resistors , capacitors and transistors . Your teachers deceive you be telling that these 3 things are enough to bring about a change in the word. In transistors , there’s a base , emitter and a collector and you can find out voltages between them. Different permutations and combinations of two or more transistors help you get more current / voltage and stuff like that . Resistors and capacitors are these extras in an item song. They are just there , spread out wild and far , just to make their presence felt .I’ve never found them doing any useful stuff. Take these 3 different things and arrange them in some particular order and you get creepy creatures like flip flops and op amps . Finally arrange all of them on a board and that gives you a circuit .This is basically explains the electronics part. The bad part is you never experience current or voltage physically and what I’ve explained is just the tip o the iceberg , there are a hell lot of lousy creatures like transformers , semiconductors , the lesser said about them the better. All these tiny parts make up the circuit and you can imagine how messy a circuit may look

Now comes the communication part. After you build 2 circuits , you name one as the sender and the other as the receiver . The sender sends out some data using a transmitter . Air particles just pick up the data . These air particles akin to each other keep passing the data and it’s finally caught at the receiver . In places where there’s no air , I suppose there won’t be any communication .We can’t have windmills everywhere so some intelligent people thought let’s use optic fibers and lay them under the ground. The communication part involves complex words like synthesizing , quantization , modulation and other stuff like that. The words itself are so complex, the process is even more. The problem with optic fibers is that the rodents living below the ground eat it up and then the data is lost. So after 3 years of studying this subject , you realize that there are a hell lot of problems involved in transmitting data .That is when you are asked to do a project

This project is a very phony process. Some students run to the research institutes in the city . This research is a pretty lousy process . Some guy proves a thing , other guy disproves it and the cycle continues .Finally there’s a one eyed man in the world of the blind who wins the Nobel prize. Believe me all this research never works practically . For example India’s premier organization ISRO , couldn’t track the missing helicopter of a chief minister of Arunachal Pradesh even after 5 days.

Apart from all this , before you get to understand and have a ‘feel’ for the subject the college gives you tests , assignments , quizzes . You feel like standing in front of a mirror and shouting ‘Can I go mad, just stark raving mad?’ You know , you can’t afford to do it because our parents are going to beat the shit out of you. You become like Ashish Nehra who made the famous statement ‘Body mein injury nahi , Injury mein body hai’ . There are a few good souls out there like ‘Ganesh Rao’ and ‘Giridhar’ . These guys write some amazing stuff and you can scrape through your exams. There are other foreign guys who are lead pretty frustrated lives and haven’t done any credible research .So they end up being authors. These guys must be sued for cruelty to mankind

So basically the point is, don’t join electronics or telecommunication if you don’t find it interesting or if you have an exceptionally low IQ. I fit in to both these categories . How do you find out if you have a low IQ . Try doing aerobics , if you can move your hand and feet together , you are perfectly alright.I move my hand , I forget about my feet or the vice versa .There’s some sort of coordination problem . If you cannot trace back the route by which you entered a particular road , that also means you are pretty dumb. If you feel that math with symbols like mu and epsilon is just complex calligraphy then engineering isn’t the right thing to do. Go out , become a chef , feed a few hungry souls , become a script writer and entertain the world , plant more trees or do some NGO work . Don’t do what others do , do what you feel like . The arguments may be that you won’t get a great job with a good salary and stuff but let’s debate it out another day.

Confused about the victory

Virat Kohli said ‘We dedicate the world cup to Sachin Tendulkar. He’s the god of Indian cricket. With a stature that he enjoys in the cricket crazy nation, humility is almost impossible. But that’s what makes this man so special, Impossible ain’t a word for him! He’s been playing for more than two decades now, and has been a true cavalier throughout. Controversies are a rare artifact in his unbelievably long career.’

Virender Sehwag added ‘We dedicate the world cup to Sachin Tendulkar. He’s the god of Indian cricket. With a stature that he enjoys in the cricket crazy nation, humility is almost impossible. But that’s what makes this man so special, Impossible ain’t a word for him! He’s been playing for more than two decades now, and has been a true cavalier throughout. Controversies are a rare artifact in his unbelievably long career.’

‘Well , as of now , we really don’t know if the real trophy has been handed over to us or the fake one .I suppose the real one is still with the customs. So , I wouldn’t want to comment about whom to dedicate the world cup to ‘ chipped in Gautham Gambhir , trying to break the monotony in the “ dedicate world cup to Sachin “ speeches

When a reporter asked M S Dhoni , why everybody was talking about Sachin Tendulkar and not about the millions of Indian fans throughout the world who’ve been relentlessly supporting the team , Dhoni said ‘The cricket fans are fickle minded . When you are winning they cheer you or else they jeer you . Now that the world cup is in our hands , they are creating a huge hullabaloo or else they only boo , boo and boo. Wow , I just made so many rhyming sentences on the spot’, signed off Dhoni with a mischievous smile on his face’

When Sachin Tendulkar was asked that the rest of the members wanted to win the cup for him , whom did he want to dedicate the cup to , Sachin cheekily replied ‘I dedicate this world cup to Gulzarilal Nanda’. Sources say that this was a killer move by Sachin Tendulkar to divert the attention of the youth of India off Poonam Pandey and motivate them to google out information about this rather low-key Prime minister . Sources say that the trick had worked as Youtube searches were flooded with requests of Gulzarilal Nanda’s speech at the International Labor Conference at Geneva , Switzerland in 1947.

Munaf Patel sitting quietly in a corner when asked if Poonam Pandey’s offer motivated India to play harder , he said ‘ Well , instead of she going nude , she should first come and undress me .I smell so bad . Someone , motivate me to go and have a bath please!!! ‘ pleaded the medium pacer. A reporter said ‘if you dont, maggots will start inhabiting your body. Seriously. They might have already.’ Munaf seemed undeterred . Another added ‘ I Heard this amazing story on the BBC about a bloke who got fed up with showering and decided to give it up. In a while moss grew on his feet, and he ended up rooted in a flower pot in his mother´s living room. Feeing inspired? ‘ . Munaf flaunting the 2^nd expression of boredom on his face said ‘Still doesn’t help’. Sources say that he has only 2 expressions the first being ‘boring’ and the second ‘extremely boring’

On the valley called phony

This is co written by me and my friend Nivedita who happen to share the same opinion about the sudden cultural shift or whatever you’d like to call it. We were chatting about this and then thought – why not blog it out . Here it goes

At the Mall,
“Oh I love CHOCOS! I have it everyday” extralipstick screeched looking at the yellow and brown box of chocos staring at pinkmakeup.
Pinkmakeup replied “Oooo… I have OATS! It is nice for face too.”
Big Muscles said “Hi Girls, need some help?”
“Get the trolley no, please” screamed extralipstick making her face like Snoopy, her doggie, which won the best-bred title.
“You did like snoopy. Do it again” pinkmakeup screamed. And took her cell phone and clicked a pic. “Ah! Mine too”
Big muscle took the camera and they stood near a “Facebook friendly spot” and click click.
“Thank you!” they echoed.
Just then, tightjeans, Loudmouth, straightbutsometimescurly hair entered.
Tightjeans said “Hey, there is a sale at the awesomeshop”
“WOW” they all jumped with joy and Big Muscles clicked another snap.
After the shopping, with all the bags, they relaxed at “Trumpy Tea Day.”
Only a 100-rupee Trumpy chiller could relax them. After few more “clicks clicks”, they left to moviemax where they all stood in the line.
“click click” bigMuscle clicked again as they posed, while taking tickets.
Loudmouth said “Hey bigmuscles, why don’t you stand too”and "Click..click"
Striaghtbutsometimescurly shrieked “Hey …upload upload” and tag us all.
After a long day, before they kissed a goodbye to each other, they clicked few more pictures. First, single and then, groups of 2, 3, 4…and random permutations.

What is it that the malls have that make normal people behave like they have just landed from some foreign land and wear unnecessary makeup, put on a fake accent, eat uncomfortable stuff, and still pretend they are the happiest people in the world.
Why is it that when you enter a mall you see so many ppl in 3/4ths like if u were to walk on a road , you would see them in their pajamas eating , bargaining , chatting, and happy. Here it's too fake, too phony, too materialistic, so much show-off. People just want to show off that they belong to some aristocratic class. Chivalry comes to them naturally. They behave like those film critics on tv who mention about some un-understandable Oscar movie references.

I still remember some 12-13 years ago, going to shoppers stop or kids kemp was considered a big deal and it would happen once in 4 -5 months. We would wait to go to kids kemp or shoppers stop and eat in some exotic hotel nearby like that was some sort of an achievement, like that sudden happiness. So much excitement! I still remember after so much of pestering , in class 9, I got a pair of adidas shoes. I hadn't thrown the box in which the shoes were kept. I had it nearly for 2 years. It was a great thing to see that authentic adidas symbol on the shoe box. Yaay , even i own an original pair. Otherwise we would go to National Market bargain to such a great extent search shop after shop try to use our detective minds and see who is the authentic guy and who's fake, who has got the so called 'Proper Smuggled Goods', bargain like crazy and buy those pair of shoes and show off in front of our friends.

Now everyone wears nike and having a titan watch is too down market and no kid feels proud to wear such things. It's become routine now
The kids kemp clearance sale would be the real clearance sale, it would happen once in a year.
We would wait for it and buy some macho shirts , like those shirts with some guy having great muscles and some gun in one hand we would also feel super macho.Now everyone has a play station , a computer, great apparels. There's no excitement at all and they get it so easily. Not that we paid for anything we bough but we had to pester our parents so much wait for the right moment check out who bought what from where , where is it cheaply available ,check out the real 'FACTORY OUTLET'

Also, slog to get great marks for what we wanted. Life has changed. It is good for all those who love sporting their id card and for whom, the job is a mean of living but for the rest, it is a circus called "monotony". You talk, behave like the "monotonous" ring master called "herd mentality" would ask you to do.We shouldn't forget what we were just a few years back.
Get off the cloak: , Join activity clubs, make new friends with like minded. Bring more meaning to the gift called “LIFE”.

The original MOCHI

I write !

Well , I was reading an article in Bangalore Mirror the other day where some person said that everyone should write at least 500 words in a week to keep himself/herself active and vent out his/her frustration/joy ,express feelings and stuff like that.

I’m writing this article because of the Colum in the newspaper and secondly because I’m terribly bored. I like reading Bangalore Mirror because it’s easy to read , light and fluffy , basically they give yummy crap and it’s addictive. As far as Bangalore is concerned , it’s growing beyond my imagination. Every time I travel , I discover new areas. Initially I used to think that Sunkadkatte is the only place I’ve never visited in Bangalore and after my recent bus journey towards indiranagar , I’ve discovered a plethora of areas. There’s Malleshpalya , Murgeshpalya , Michealpalya and the list never seems to end. Greater Bangalore is all set to spring up surprises , go the BBMP office and tell your maid servant’s name , they add a ‘Palya’ suffix and another area is born. The names of the new areas are really tacky and lack creativity . Another thing that’s as tacky as the names of new areas is the pulse polio campaign. The new pulse polio campaign is a remixed version of the title track of Kannada movie ‘Jackie’ where they sing ‘Polio Polio Polio’ instead of ‘Jackie Jackie’ and have suitably changed the lyrics . They hope to attract a lot of people in the pulse polio drive. Sorry to say this , but by any stretch of imagination the song hasn’t been able to provide that adrenaline rush in my body and even if I were eligible for that I wouldn’t go. Check out the latest ad of Dhan laxmi bank , it’s an amazing ad and the jingle is just perfect. Even if I went to that pulse polio drive I would want to be the first in the line of all those cry babies and want a celebrity to put those drops in to my mouth and it would make the headlines in the newspaper the next day. I don’t want to lead a simple , mediocre life. I want to do something that I like not what others do . I’ve thought of 3 things a) A script/screenplay writer b) Political editor c) Restaurateur . The last option is the one I like most . Like a pizza hut that specializes in pizzas or a Rolls corner that makes only Rolls , I’d like to start a restaurant in some hill station that serves everything with curd in it . Dahi Samosa , Dahi Cutlet , Aloo Paratha with dahi etc. The less adventurous and the not so experimental types can always order stuff plain and bland.

Moving ahead, I was browsing through some random website that conducted competitions during the valentine’s day time . The competition went on for nearly a week and people were asked to write love letters , letters of friendship and some breakup latter . The breakup letter was the most interesting thing because it expected you to write it in a loving , tactful and a smart manner without hurting the other person’s feeling. People wrote about their first meeting, first eye contact and a hell lot of horse manure and made it super senti citing reasons as family pressure and long distances that would make it hard to continue the relationship. Though I didn't take part as it wasn't something that I found interesting , I now take it up as a challenge to write that letter . Here it goes

Dear loved one
This letter marks the end of an era of an era of mutual admiration . An era where we gifted each other pieces of metal glued together or some chemical junk that fabricated beauty , had meaningless conversations over the phone and exchanged a hell lot of useless text messages providing a gala time for mobile phone operators , the florists , the novelty store guy. There’s absolutely no reason to worry because many more young couples will continue to make the same mistake as we’ve done, commerce will continue to flourish and the economy will continue to grow by leaps and bounds. Your electronic voice , manicured nails and the dimple on your left cheek had left me in a trance but as a responsible citizen of the nation , it’s time for the two of us to look beyond our personal interests and take keen interests in the scams that have rocked the nation in the recent past. Finally, I’ve managed to come out of my slumber , my sense organs have begun to work and I can feel the chill of the morning air , it brings with it a sense of hope . I also like the mornings because coffee is my favorite drink. I know it may be a little hard to cope with the breakup in the beginning but there are a hell lot of activities that we can indulge ourselves in – like checking if the numbers on the car number plate are divisible by 3 or not , or watching the water fill the compartments of the ice trays and many other intellectual activities. Also reality TV and the new comedy shows on cable television will help us remain glued to our sofas . The paparazzi isn’t going to come behind us because we were just 2 silly people . Okay then , take care
Bye forever

Uff , it’s take me nearly an hour and 15 minutes at a stretch and I’ve written 900 + words!!